I am just sitting here crying, praying. I am so sorry, Craig. We also have a beautiful 24 year old son who has struggled (and thus, we have, too). I'm praying for answers and comfort, and a strong buffer of peace and protection around you and Debbie as you grieve and process...and that you will have space to rest when you need it, and activity to help you refocus when you need that, too. Bless you, friends. Joshua's life did matter, and how you continue to love him matters, too. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I have no adequate words to express the sadness and pain that I know you must be experiencing. All I can say is that I am praying for you and your wife. May God be with you both always, bless you and grant you peace. Your son was a child of Gods and he is loved.
💔i have never lost a child but i have been bereaved and have helped friends who were suffering a loss.
what i can guarantee is that no one was looking for a thank you. if you think you forgot to thank someone…no you didn’t. people don’t support you for thanks. 💙
My heart grieves for you … for the joys you didn’t share with your son, for the birthdays you will miss, for so much. Thank you for sharing and celebrating his life with us.
I met an old man from West Texas as he was dying and he shared his vision of heaven with me. He was looking forward to getting to heaven and being met by his childhood friend who had been dead since they were young. Then they would race across the fields barefoot (no goatheads or rocks) to the swimming hole, shuck their clothes and go skinny dipping together. Not biblical but a vision of peace, joy, friendship and life. I always find peace when I think about this man’s hope. I wish you peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my brother when he was 28 and I watched my parents navigate grief very differently. Grief is heavy, the veil between here and there so thin, and so challenging to anticipate. I'm praying for you and your sweet wife. God is close to you.
Beautifully written and understood from my own broken heart. I'm just two years past my daughter, Morgan's, passing, and she was the same age as Joshua at that time. She grew up in Ohio. I wrote extensively on substack for the first 18 months. You and your wife might want to check out a Christian grief retreat (free) called While We're Waiting. It will help.
Oh, I'm so happy to hear that! God is good! I met a woman who's adult daughter had passed about 6 weeks earlier than Mo, so we were in the same stage basically. We have met bi-weekly since then, just the two of us, and am so thankful God put us in each other's lives. To me, earlier and still, the grief feels like being homesick. Not nearly as overwhelming at this point, but indeed your hearts will never be the same.
Beautiful and sad. I loved this line "enough chimes to potentially institutionalize us if we ever get a really bad wind storm." We were given wind chimes after our Joshua died and have given them since. Maybe we need to come up with a more original idea 🤔
Thank you Craig for sharing your heartfelt and heartbroken thoughts as you, beautiful Debbie and the rest of your family navigate life without Josh’s physical presence. I savor the few memories shared with him and all of you. Wishing you all peace and comfort.
Craig, my heart feels wrung out after reading this. I find myself grasping for words that feel so small and insignificant given the enormity of your loss. In a way, this specific grief feels familiar to me, as I also lost a child. But at 23 weeks in utero, so I never knew my daughter. To have raised your son into a young man and loved him unconditionally through all the seasons of his life and the winding paths he chose… I can only imagine it makes such a loss even more devastating. I can tell by how you speak of your son that you’re a good father, and what a gift that was to him for his 24 short years. May you and your wife experience grace during your grieving process. May your pain strengthen your love and deepen your capacity to hold the hard things life has to offer. May loving memories of your son comfort you in the darkest moments. And may he rest in eternal peace.
Hi, I can’t say that I understand what you’re going through. However, I do understand grief, pain and sadness, from losing my father and my brother just about a year ago. May God continue to be your anchor and I pray that you and your family have the peace of Christ Jesus, which passes all understanding. My sincere condolences for your loss. 💕🙏🏽
My own heart is heavy as I am trying to work out how to “evict” my 20yo son who has been making life extremely difficult for his two younger sisters and I for the past year and a half. I have to rescue us from further destruction but I fear for the well-being of my son. I am looking to God’s wisdom and sovereignty constantly.🙏
Thanks for writing this, Craig. I'm so sorry for your loss. I follow a fellow writer, John E. Dobbs, who also tragically lost a son, a young man also. The title is Hope Remains and he has some grief resources. He has a tender heart.
My heart breaks for you. May your faith guide you through. All the beautiful things you’ve said about Joshua, you also said about Jesus. And without the crucifixion there is no resurrection. We must all suffer and carry our cross. Joshua is now in a place of glory and watching over you and your family. And if you want to talk to him, talk to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hear him answer.
It is impossible to find words to console a broken heart, and, as you say, there is no more terrible loss than the life of your child. Also, as you suspected, it is normal to feel anger. It is secondary to your pain. I am touched and deeply sorry for your loss of Josh. Only time will soften the grief. We all process grief differently, and so my hope for you and your wife is that you will be patient and kind with each other as you face this together.
In a different note, you were remarkably kind to the people you counseled as you sat with Joshua’s ashes. I hope you will be that kind and patient with yourself as you grieve. May God bless and keep you and love you through this sorrow.
I am so deeply sorry that your son Joshua has died. I wept as I read your words. We have a 20 year old son that has had similar sounding dynamics, and I ache for you in this new reality.
I am just sitting here crying, praying. I am so sorry, Craig. We also have a beautiful 24 year old son who has struggled (and thus, we have, too). I'm praying for answers and comfort, and a strong buffer of peace and protection around you and Debbie as you grieve and process...and that you will have space to rest when you need it, and activity to help you refocus when you need that, too. Bless you, friends. Joshua's life did matter, and how you continue to love him matters, too. Thank you for sharing this with us.
We appreciate you. I will join you in prayer for your son.
Bless you. May you find peace❤️
I have no adequate words to express the sadness and pain that I know you must be experiencing. All I can say is that I am praying for you and your wife. May God be with you both always, bless you and grant you peace. Your son was a child of Gods and he is loved.
💔i have never lost a child but i have been bereaved and have helped friends who were suffering a loss.
what i can guarantee is that no one was looking for a thank you. if you think you forgot to thank someone…no you didn’t. people don’t support you for thanks. 💙
My heart grieves for you … for the joys you didn’t share with your son, for the birthdays you will miss, for so much. Thank you for sharing and celebrating his life with us.
I met an old man from West Texas as he was dying and he shared his vision of heaven with me. He was looking forward to getting to heaven and being met by his childhood friend who had been dead since they were young. Then they would race across the fields barefoot (no goatheads or rocks) to the swimming hole, shuck their clothes and go skinny dipping together. Not biblical but a vision of peace, joy, friendship and life. I always find peace when I think about this man’s hope. I wish you peace.
I weep for your loss. It conjures up our family's loss. There is nothing that equals the pain of the death of a child. Nothing.
Our Sheila died at the age of 36. Her 38th birthday is coming up soon.
Answers unfold in there own time. My husband and I have grieved in different ways, on different timelines
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
This being our daughter's birth month has been on of my most challenging months in the past year.
There have been many moments of joy in the past 570 days. There have been as many moments of sorrow.
I'm praying for you and your family. May you find peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my brother when he was 28 and I watched my parents navigate grief very differently. Grief is heavy, the veil between here and there so thin, and so challenging to anticipate. I'm praying for you and your sweet wife. God is close to you.
Beautifully written and understood from my own broken heart. I'm just two years past my daughter, Morgan's, passing, and she was the same age as Joshua at that time. She grew up in Ohio. I wrote extensively on substack for the first 18 months. You and your wife might want to check out a Christian grief retreat (free) called While We're Waiting. It will help.
We did! We are scheduled (waiting list) for September. Thank you for sharing that.
Oh, I'm so happy to hear that! God is good! I met a woman who's adult daughter had passed about 6 weeks earlier than Mo, so we were in the same stage basically. We have met bi-weekly since then, just the two of us, and am so thankful God put us in each other's lives. To me, earlier and still, the grief feels like being homesick. Not nearly as overwhelming at this point, but indeed your hearts will never be the same.
Beautiful and sad. I loved this line "enough chimes to potentially institutionalize us if we ever get a really bad wind storm." We were given wind chimes after our Joshua died and have given them since. Maybe we need to come up with a more original idea 🤔
Thank you Craig for sharing your heartfelt and heartbroken thoughts as you, beautiful Debbie and the rest of your family navigate life without Josh’s physical presence. I savor the few memories shared with him and all of you. Wishing you all peace and comfort.
Vickie
Craig, my heart feels wrung out after reading this. I find myself grasping for words that feel so small and insignificant given the enormity of your loss. In a way, this specific grief feels familiar to me, as I also lost a child. But at 23 weeks in utero, so I never knew my daughter. To have raised your son into a young man and loved him unconditionally through all the seasons of his life and the winding paths he chose… I can only imagine it makes such a loss even more devastating. I can tell by how you speak of your son that you’re a good father, and what a gift that was to him for his 24 short years. May you and your wife experience grace during your grieving process. May your pain strengthen your love and deepen your capacity to hold the hard things life has to offer. May loving memories of your son comfort you in the darkest moments. And may he rest in eternal peace.
Hold to the Good
Write of talk Josh
Speak of Josh
My heart aches for you and yours
Hi, I can’t say that I understand what you’re going through. However, I do understand grief, pain and sadness, from losing my father and my brother just about a year ago. May God continue to be your anchor and I pray that you and your family have the peace of Christ Jesus, which passes all understanding. My sincere condolences for your loss. 💕🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing. It matters a lot.
I pray for strength and comfort for you.
My own heart is heavy as I am trying to work out how to “evict” my 20yo son who has been making life extremely difficult for his two younger sisters and I for the past year and a half. I have to rescue us from further destruction but I fear for the well-being of my son. I am looking to God’s wisdom and sovereignty constantly.🙏
Thanks for writing this, Craig. I'm so sorry for your loss. I follow a fellow writer, John E. Dobbs, who also tragically lost a son, a young man also. The title is Hope Remains and he has some grief resources. He has a tender heart.
My heart breaks for you. May your faith guide you through. All the beautiful things you’ve said about Joshua, you also said about Jesus. And without the crucifixion there is no resurrection. We must all suffer and carry our cross. Joshua is now in a place of glory and watching over you and your family. And if you want to talk to him, talk to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hear him answer.
It is impossible to find words to console a broken heart, and, as you say, there is no more terrible loss than the life of your child. Also, as you suspected, it is normal to feel anger. It is secondary to your pain. I am touched and deeply sorry for your loss of Josh. Only time will soften the grief. We all process grief differently, and so my hope for you and your wife is that you will be patient and kind with each other as you face this together.
In a different note, you were remarkably kind to the people you counseled as you sat with Joshua’s ashes. I hope you will be that kind and patient with yourself as you grieve. May God bless and keep you and love you through this sorrow.
I am so deeply sorry that your son Joshua has died. I wept as I read your words. We have a 20 year old son that has had similar sounding dynamics, and I ache for you in this new reality.
Tenderly,
Sharlin