Hyper Self-Focus and Disorientation
When I was a kid we would sometimes play a game where we would take turns putting our forehead on the handle of a baseball bat and spinning in circles around it as fast as we could. You probably played it too, so you know how it would end up. The spinner would work as hard and fast as they could spinning around that bat, looking straight down and then let go, but even after they let go the world would keep spinning; they would stagger around for a few seconds like they just staggered out of a bar at 2:30 AM, drunk and directionless.
It was fun to occasionally do this. We would laugh at how ridiculous we looked. We would laugh at each other trying to navigate a new earth that was no longer standing still. It was funny.
But in real life it’s not that funny.
Unfortunately we sometimes live our real life just like that. We are working hard, even breaking a sweat. There is constant motion, constant scrolling, constant activity. But it is all taking place with our entire focus right in front of our nose. We don’t have any idea what is going on all around us because we are hyper-focused on our own thing.
Hyper self-focus is an unhealthy perspective, or lens, through which to view the world. It leads to three things:
Increased anxiety and overthinking.
Strained relationships.
Stifled personal growth.
When we live too long in this space, we can become totally disoriented and directionless.
Increased Anxiety and Overthinking
When you're constantly analyzing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, it can lead to rumination—a repetitive cycle of overthinking that fuels anxiety and stress. You may become overly preoccupied with perceived flaws, past mistakes, or hypothetical future outcomes, which can make even small decisions feel overwhelming.
What do all of these things have in common? Hyper self focus. I am the star of the show, and everyone else is just a bit player in the Grand Production of Human History. But consider the alternative offered by Dr. Jeff McGraff:
The art of growth is in seeing our place as integrative (emphasis mine) beings in this world looking for our way and opportunity to flourish; not to escape our human condition. While we are not tulips in the field bending to every movement of the sun, we too are growing with the aid of the generative power of creativity to develop our full potential. Nothing grows on its own. All things require a nurturing environment to co-create its optimal state, or in our case, our best Self. We too are part of the ecosystem of life.
We are part of the ecosystem of life. It’s amazing how much stress falls off of us when we realize we aren’t really in charge.
Strained Relationships
Hyper self-focus can make it difficult to be present with others. You might:
Misinterpret social cues
Overanalyze how others perceive you
Prioritize your internal experience over genuine connection
This can create emotional distance and hinder your ability to build or maintain close, trusting relationships.
If books were written about this particular problem in my own life, “the whole world could not contain the volumes”. When we are hyper focused on how we are being perceived or on our personal, internal experiences in relationships, we prevent ourselves from making meaningful connections with people and become like those kids just spinning around the bat…we are guaranteed to lose our equilibrium.
If we zoom this out to a societal level, it translates to public unrest, demands for “what’s coming to me" and “what I deserve”.
Look, the world is unfair. People don’t always meet our needs. Sometimes the scales of justice are uneven or even intentionally tipped to favor the few.
Sometimes people do you wrong.
When you start spinning on the baseball bat of personal grievance, the best thing you can do is look up, regain your footing and put your focus on serving other people. We don’t really have time to focus on personal grievance when we are serving the needs of others.
Even Jesus Himself recognized this. “The Son of Man didn’t come to be served, but to serve.” (Matthew 20:28)
Stifled Personal Growth
A self-focused mindset often limits perspective. When you're constantly turned inward, it becomes harder to:
Take constructive feedback
Empathize with others
See the bigger picture
This can prevent you from learning, adapting, or seeing opportunities for improvement beyond your own mental loop.
The personal mental loop is the equivalent to spinning in that circle. It feels like we are busy, like we are doing work. We often feel like the hardest-working person in the room, like nobody else thinks as deeply as we do. But in reality we are just creating internal chaos and imbalance.
So what are some strategies to break the cycle of unhealthy self-focus?
Practice External Awareness
Set Thinking Boundaries
Serve and Support Other People
Pray “Without Ceasing”
Practice “Flow”
Practice External Awareness
Redirect your attention outward with intentional observation:
Notice your environment: sounds, smells, textures
Focus on others in conversation: their tone, their body language, their emotions
This trains your brain to break the loop of internal self-analysis and connect more directly with the world around you.
It makes the world stop spinning. It re-introduces your feet to solid ground.
Look up! It’s way more interesting out there.
Set Thinking Boundaries
Give yourself a defined time and place to reflect (like journaling for 10 minutes in the evening). Outside of that, try to:
Gently label unhelpful rumination ("I'm overthinking again")
Shift focus to action or external tasks
This builds discipline over when and how you engage with self-focused thoughts. The point is not to never self-examine. It is to not self-examine too much.
Serve and Support Other People
Helping others can naturally pull you out of yourself and into a wider context. Try:
Volunteering
Offering genuine compliments or assistance
Practicing active listening without steering conversations back to you
It fosters empathy and shifts your focus from self to shared humanity.
It is especially hard for hyper self-focused people to listen without steering things back to themselves. Someone pours out there heart about something they are going through, and our first intinct is to say, “I know what you mean. I went through something like that a few years ago” followed by a 20-minute story about your life. (See above about gently labeling behaviors and mentally instruct yourself while listening not to do that!)
Pray “Without Ceasing”
This is a tough verse from Paul’s first letter to Thessoloniki. It doesn’t so much mean to walk around on your knees with your hands folded all day. It is more a state of mindfulness and communion with the Divine.
Mindful prayer builds moment-to-moment awareness without judgment, reducing the need to overanalyze your inner world.
Try:
Silently quoting one scripture over and over again.
Quietly ask God to help you keep your focus outward.
Noticing 5 things you can see/hear/feel when spiraling inward.
The last bullet point helps to center you in the moment, remembering that depression is focused on the past and anxiety is focused on the future while peace is focused on this moment.
Practice “Flow”
Engage in hobbies that demand full attention—like sports, music, puzzles, or creative projects. Flow states reduce self-consciousness and promote well-being by immersing you in something beyond your internal narrative. In other words, they block out the noise.
A Final Thought
In our times there is an intense focus on self. Self-help, self-development, personal growth, etc. There is nothing inherently wrong with this; there is only the danger of becoming like those the Apostle Paul described as “ever learning and never coming to the knowledge of the truth.” My paraphrase? “Always head down and spinning and never finding solid ground.”
The phrase "always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth" describes individuals who are constantly seeking knowledge but fail to grasp or apply the core truth, particularly in spiritual or moral contexts. It often refers to those who are easily swayed by false teachings or who prioritize learning for its own sake without seeking genuine understanding or transformation.
Hyper focus on self development will lead us to a consumer mindset, consistently consuming self help literature and content (sometimes contradictory content) that leaves our head spinning and focus inward. At some point we have to escape put some ideas to work. We have to focus on mission and service of others.
It was ok to spin around the bat when we were kids, but as we become adults, it might be time to put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13)
I sure needed that. Thanks Craig!!
Helpful!